Monday, October 10, 2011

Great Expectations

As most of you know, I like to read books that teach principles of success. A recurring theme that comes up often is this: "You don't always get what you want, you don't always get what you deserve (thank heaven!), but you almost always get what you expect." It's a proven fact that the person who wakes up saying "Today's going to be a great day" has a better day than the person who wakes up and says (or groans) "Ugghh".
So what is my great expectation? I want to have a natural childbirth: no drugs, no "assistance", no interventions. That being said let me clarify a few things. First, I've learned never to say never so I am leaving my mind, and options, open. As with everything in life, we'll take it one step at a time. Second, I believe that birth is unique to every woman and I don't feel that any one way is the best way for everyone. If you carried a baby all those months and brought it into the world, I don't care how it came - you deserve a medal! Third, I'm not trying to prove anything. After kidney stones, ulcers, and large ovarian cysts, I don't feel the need to prove to anyone that I'm tough. And I don't think that having a natural birth makes a woman a better person or a better mother than a woman who had an assisted delivery.
I'm simply doing this because I feel like it's right for me. Childbirth, in my mind, is a very personal thing and until I got pregnant I thought it a very private thing. It didn't take long for me to realize that most people, even guys, have no problem asking very probing questions. The one I get asked most is "Are you having an epidural?" It's hard to fight the urge to ask "Why does it matter to you?" and instead smile and explain how I feel. Usually my reply is met by a condescending smirk and a guarantee that I won't last an hour without one. Sometimes women look concerned and try to kindly lecture me on how I'm a wide-eyed Pollyanna that just doesn't understand how hard childbirth is. When I meet either of these kinds of women I politely change the subject or end the conversation. I don't want negative in my brain.
I never said I expected easy or painless or even fast. I only said natural. Why is that so hard for people to accept? Why does everyone feel the need to tell me how they feel about my decision?
So how do I "channel" my expectations? I seek out women who are supportive and positive. I have spoken with three women recently who have experienced birth in almost every way thinkable and all said that their natural birth was there favorite experience. I take just a few minutes everyday to mentally visualize a positive labor and delivery. I read books about the benefits of natural childbirth and the stories of mothers who have had great success delivering naturally. Lastly, I tell myself that I can do this. I was made to do this.
So there you have it. In a week or two I'll put up a post telling you how it went :-)

3 comments:

Hillary and Jake said...

So about a year and a half ago I said that when I have kids I wanted to have a natural child birth and you asked if I was insane. Nonetheless I am very supportive of your choice, and the way I see it women were having babies for several thousand years before epidurals and the majority of them turned out just fine.

Jacob and Cami said...

Go for it. I think that as long as you're prepared.and have the right mind set you'll be fine. Can't wait to meet baby Reagan. Is that how you spell it?

Unknown said...

Hillary-I'm sorry I criticized you. I feel the same way, women have been doing this since the beginning of mankind, why now do we need all the monitors and IV's and crazy stuff?

Cami-yes that's how it is spelled. Did you know, it is believed that Ryan and Reagan come from the same root word meaning "king" or "kingly" (for instance, king in Spanish is "Rey"). Ryan is Old English whereas Reagan is Irish.